I lie on my yoga mat, practice complete for the day. I feel large parts of my body let go. Knees, feet, shoulders, head and hips gradually release into the support of my mat and the floor underneath. I notice the parts of me that let go right away. I notice the parts of me that have a harder time letting go and finding their way to support. I am curious why some of me allows and welcomes support and why parts of me find that more challenging.
My mat experience invites wondering about how I receive support in my own life. Right now, exactly a week after my mom’s passing, I am in the full throes of looking at all of this. Many have extended support to me in the past few days. I feel it like a web of connected and multi-faceted gemstones. It feels warm, spacious, loving……. a huge safety net. It is a gift.
My Phoenix Rising yoga therapy experiences inform me that landing into this support in my life is not unrelated to what I noticed on my mat at the end of my days practice. Most of me appreciates this support and is grateful for it. But yet, there is a smaller part of me that is resistant to this support, wants not to take advantage of it. This is interesting, the not receiving support.
Looking at the resistance I am drawn into telling myself more and more. What I am finding is that my resistance is not about receiving support from others…. I can do that. This resistance is about receiving support from me. What does that look like? How can I receive all parts of me in this process?
What seems significant about this awareness is not to try and figure it out. What seems important is the noticing and along with the noticing comes my understanding that what is needed right now is actually fairly simple. What I need to do is allow myself to receive all of me…… the parts that let go and the parts that won’t.
All I need to do is let it all be present and notice……